Screw dogs or firearms, Michael Terry had the right idea when it comes to home security: dangerous reptiles.
Police in Montgomery County, Texas earlier this week received a tip from some nosy neighbor of Terry’s that Terry had been slinging a few dime bags of herb from his property.
So the pigs raided his house and arrested him for the completely non-violent and victimless crime of having a few “pouches” of cannabis on him. Being the nosy bunch that cops tend to be, they decided to have a look around Terry’s property for anything else they could charge him with.
That’s when they ran into Terry’s four-legged lizard-brained friend – a pissed-off six-foot alligator that Terry usually lets sleep on the couch (Editor’s note: that’s a smart move to let an alligator sleep wherever it wants to sleep). The gator, which we would like to imagine, has a name like “Fluffy” or “Bubbles” started hissing and facing off with the cops.
And while standing off against unarmed pot dealers wasn’t too much for these macho assholes, apparently the threat of an actual menace sent them running.
They can’t say they weren’t warned, either. A sign up on the property warned that the land was an amphibian and reptile sanctuary and that absolutely no “cats, no dogs, no chickens, no ducks, no turkey, and especially no pigs” would be allowed.
Eventually the Texas Department of Parks and Wildlife was called out to wrangle the gator as well as identify “several” snakes Terry kept in his residence – not all of which were non-poisonous.
The gator was eventually trapped a wildlife expert and released into a nearby swamp.
No word on what happened to Terry.