Author Toke of the Town

feature-protestAnthony Camera

Dezy Saint-Nolde, better known by her activism name, Queen Phoenix, has emerged as a prominent organizer of protests and demonstrations in recent months. These included the thousands-strong November 10 protest against Donald Trump’s election, the February 18 Defend our Constitution march, a health-care rally on February 25, and a Demand Russia-Trump Ties Investigation march on March 18.

But Phoenix also believes that her activism made her the target of an undercover Denver Police Department investigation in which she was arrested and charged for offenses related to marijuana.

In a January cover story in Westword concerning DPD’s social-media surveillance and how it related to the department’s old “Spy Files” program, Phoenix shared her experience of having her house raided by cops in December on charges that she was distributing marijuana without a license.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I’ve seen some dispensaries that have rooms for only medical customers, some for only recreational customers and some that sell to both. It seems inefficient, so why all the separation?
Joey

Dear Joey: Yes, it does seem inefficient when you see the exact same products on both sides. But when recreational marijuana became legal in this state, the law called for separating medical patients from retail customers.

As a result, any pot shop that sells to both medical and recreational crowds needs to have licenses for each, and to keep those licenses, it needs to have separate medical and retail marijuana inventory, tracking and customers. If a bud room only has one point-of-sale system, then only one of the consumer demographics can be served. While some dispensaries prefer individual rooms for each side in order to ensure privacy, others will install two POS systems in a bud room and simply split it in half with an imaginary line or rope.

14460520194_8dae5615ec_o_1_Manuel

What can $3.5 million in funding get you? The top slot as the most venture-capitalist-backed company in the cannabis industry.

Last week, Baker, a marketing-automation platform, announced that it had secured a $1.6 million extension to its August 2016 seed round — bringing its total raised capital to $3.5 million. The company’s software connects dispensary owners with customers throughout every touchpoint, from online ordering to in-store check-in and interactive shopping menus. Last year, Baker helped more than 250 dispensaries collect a total of $3.1 million in revenue.

lavenderHerbert Fuego

My eighty-something-year-old grandmother caught me smoking a joint in my parents’ garage while I was home for Christmas. Instead of getting mad, she chastised me for my “foul, skunky-smelling” pot. “Can’t you get something that smells nice? Like lavender?” she asked. You bet your ass I can, Grandma — even though you’re missing the point on the skunk. Let me introduce you to my silky friend, Lavender Jones.

Lavender Jones is quickly becoming the most popular “Lavender” strain in Colorado, lining shelves at chain dispensaries and independent shops alike. But how could it miss with a name like that? Lavender Jones sounds like a smooth-talkin’ player swaggering down Colfax with a bulge in his pants and a smile that makes the ladies swoon — and that’s exactly how I feel after blazing it.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I recently made the mistake of eating a gummy bear with THC. I have not had any marijuana in years, but I have an upcoming drug test in seven days. Should I be concerned?
Tilly

Dear Tilly: Yes, Tilly, be concerned. Do hash and Haribos just taste the same to you? And who’s the asshole who tricked you into eating one? Address those two issues and you’ll probably never run into this dilemma again. I’ve had tons of idiot friends call me out of the blue, frantically asking if they were “good” after smoking a joint while in the Army or days before a random drug test, and I basically tell them all the same thing: It depends. It depends on your diet, your metabolism, the amount of THC you ingested, how you ingested it, how long since you last ingested THC and, most important, what sort of drug test it is. Drug tests that use hair or blood samples instead of urine or saliva can detect THC more accurately.

skunkberryHerbert Fuego

Recreational marijuana has been sold legally in this state for over three years, but Colorado still hasn’t rolled out the red carpet for cannabis hospitality; you can thank restrictive consumption laws for that.

Fortunately, we’d already perfected the art of hastily packing and smoking bowls in the parking lot before a wedding — but serving guests pot hors d’oeuvre at a swanky Kentucky Derby party would still be pretty fucking awesome.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I want to send some marijuana for a friend in need who lives in a non-MMJ state. What do you recommend?
TJ

Dear TJ: For shipping, repackage the MMJ products (foil for candy bars, baggies for brownies, vials for tinctures, vitamin bottles for pills, etc.). Put stuff like clothes, chips or any random trinket on top of the pot to make it look like a care package. If you’re really paranoid, you can shave off or melt the green “THC” stamps most edibles have now, but you’re probably wasting your time: I ship with USPS without a return address and pay with cash, and usually use a fake name for the receiver. The Post Office doesn’t require an ID check from the sender or receiver, and you’ll still get a tracking number.

6935447759_04da15bfc4_o_1_U.S. Department of Agriculture

As more states around the country hop aboard the legal-marijuana train, Colorado’s lawmakers continue to gather steam. Since it became the first state to legalize recreational cannabis in 2012 — with the first legal sales on January 1, 2014 — Colorado is now fine-tuning its systems, taking on residential plant counts (the House just placed a proposed limit of sixteen), marijuana delivery services, hemp water rights and more in 2017’s legislative season. And the people are paying attention: Currently the most accessed bill on the Colorado Legislature website is about marijuana.

Here are seventeen bills that, if passed (and a few already have been), could impact the legal (and illegal) marijuana and hemp industries in Colorado.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I’ve had retail dispensaries scan my ID and put my info in their computers or hold my ID until I speak to a budtender. One said that they had to confirm that my ID was up to date, but the majority of retail dispensaries give my ID a quick look and give it back. Seems shady.
Christie

Dear Christie: State law only requires visual inspection at dispensaries, the way a bouncer at a bar does it — but municipalities can come up with their own policies. In answer to a similar question in 2015, a spokeswoman for the City of Aurora said it forced dispensaries to scan IDs before entry because computers are “capable of quickly and reliably confirming the validity of an identification.” That requirement is uncommon, however, and doesn’t exist in Denver — though that doesn’t stop Denver pot shops from scanning IDs or holding them until you’re at the counter. The most common explanations we’ve heard from dispensaries is that they hold on to IDs to verify that they’re real and to ensure that no one goes over their daily ounce limit — but I’ve also heard of dispensaries creating customer profiles from your information. It’s a dispensary’s right to do either; it’s also your right to go somewhere else.

cookiescreamHerbert Fuego

Most male champions in thoroughbred horse racing end up studding after they retire, meaning their owners collect six figures while they impregnate mares in one of the most highly esteemed prostitution rings in sports. American Pharaoh, the first horse to win the Triple Crown in 37 years, charges $200,000 a pop. But Tapit, a lesser-known horse with fewer trophies, commands $300,000. Why? Because Tapit’s children win more races.

Tapit and Girl Scout Cookies have a lot in common: A very popular strain on its own, Girl Scout Coookies is becoming just as beloved for its offspring as it is for itself — if not more. GSC’s kids include Gelato, Platinum GSC, Sherbet and Thin Mints, a couple of which are personal favorites. But Exotic Genetix out of Washington state might’ve created the strongest colt of all with its thunderous Cookies and Cream. Bred from a GSC phenotype and Starfighter, a rare Alien hybrid, Cookies and Cream can test above 32 percent THC — but it’s proven to have more than just brawn. Its supreme potency, looks, smell, flavor and high make it a true five-tool player, something Nolan Arenado would smoke if he were allowed to — but not before batting practice. This sugary treat isn’t going to help your coordination.

1 2 3 15