Browsing: Medical

o many Sesame Street characters are iconic. Bert and Ernie. Oscar the Grouch. Back in 1977, Big Bird was on an iconic Sports Illustrated cover with tall, shaggy-haired Detroit Tigers pitcher Mark Fidrych. Elmo was responsible for an all-time toy craze in 1996. And still, none of them compare to Cookie Monster.

Toddlers loved that blue fur and simple vocab. We envied his diet, and some of us still do. But as parents start watching the show with their kids and reconnect with Cookie Monster, some see a sad reflection of addiction and America’s sugar intake — or maybe that’s just the ranting of someone stoned off his ass on Cookie Monster, a Herculean strain with alleged Girl Scout Cookies and OG Kush origins that I’ve been smoking a lot lately.

I had eleven family members in town for a week during the holidays, and about half of us smoke pot. Safe to say, I made a lot of dispensary runs for edibles, which are are still exotic foreign goods to out-of-staters. During all of this shopping for candy bars and gummies, I couldn’t help but notice the same weed-jar label at four or five stores around Denver: Bazookies.

Bazookies isn’t named after the giant à la mode cookie sliced like a pizza (that’s a pizookie), nor is it the same as Zookies, a mix of Animal Cookies and Gorilla Glue #4. No, Bazookies is a hybrid of Bubblegum and Girl Scout Cookies, in which old and new genetics meld into a relaxing yet productive high that works almost any time of day.

The realization hit me like a depressing hailstorm: I’m old. It wasn’t the receding hairline, or the weird looks that college Chads and Beckys gave me after I accidentally bought (and used) student tickets to a Colorado State University basketball game. It’s the pain. Oh, baby, do I hurt. Both elbows, a shoulder and a wrist from getting hit by various things with wheels or legs over the past few months. Sleeping on my neck wrong or walking a couple of miles in Vans can make the next day a pain in the ass.

This new, never-ending fight with a slower healing process rekindled my interest in high-CBD strains, which I’ve generally avoided after discovering some trustworthy CBD oils in an effort to curb my smoking. And let’s face it: CBD strains generally smell and taste like booty. Finding one that doesn’t smell like an old sock can be a challenge. However, there are some tastier exceptions, like Terrapin Care Station’s Wife Lemonade, or Desert Ruby, a Colorado creation that has been flying under my nose for at least three years.

We all have weird personal connections to certain words that cause us to hate them. I’m not talking about squirming when you hear “moist,” but about opinions that date from childhood, like my dislike for “hemlock.” Even before I knew the word’s definition, hemlock sounded like some fatal coughing disease from the 1600s, or a foreboding local swamp in which Timmy Flanagan drowned.

I wasn’t terribly off: Hemlock is a poisonous plant, notorious for being brewed into tea that was used to execute Socrates. It’s also the name of a shitty horror show on Netflix, the first (and last) heavy-metal band I saw live, and a popular weed strain in Colorado. As a result, my relationship with “hemlock” has gone from blocked to online lurking through dispensary menus.

Daily commuters deserve more sympathy. Not only will the stress and time-suck of rush hour shave years off your life, but the drive will also rob you of the simple things, like daytime television, regular happy hours and the sun. Remember the sun? Anyone who’s out the door before 7 a.m. and off work after 5 p.m. during the winter knows how draining life can be without sunlight, whether you believe in chakras and things that retrograde or not.

It might not be as sexy as scurvy, but Vitamin D deficiency is serious stuff, so in Colorado we make our own ultraviolet rays. Just look in a stoner’s basement, and you’ll find several hundred watts of them. We also make our own indoor sunsets, for about $35 an eighth.

Another mold and yeast recall has hit Denver’s marijuana business. The contamination level in this recall measures thousands of times the state’s limit, highlighting a growing concern for the commercial pot industry.

According to the city’s Department of Public Health and Environment, marijuana plant material and pre-rolled joints from wholesale grower Royal Resin tested positive for potential dangerous mold and yeast levels. The flagged weed had been sent to six different dispensaries, with most of it going to Diego Pellicer at 2949 West Alameda Avenue.

Remember Three Kings, the 1999 movie about the end of the Gulf War? Underrated flick: George Clooney, Edward Norton, Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg and Spike Jonze all in one great cast, before any of them peaked, showing nine-year-old me just how fucked up the world is.

Discovering a strain with the name Four Kings had me wondering if a direct-to-DVD sequel to Three Kings starring Dolph Lundgren or Randy Couture was ever made. No such luck — which is a shame, because Four Kings is a great strain for zoning out with a B-grade action movie before bed. It’s also great at helping me get over shitting ma britches as a nine-year-old after seeing well-acted depictions of graphic and intense violence, according to the Motion Picture Association of America.

My brother and I had a typical relationship growing up, filled with fights and sparse moments of bonding until we started drinking together. That’s not to say we have zero memories of getting along, thanks to TV: Watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles together was the first brotherly activity I can remember walking away from unbruised. Based on how the turtles impacted pop culture, I doubt we’re the only ’90s siblings who experienced that.

I’m aware of the fifteenth-century artist now, but I haven’t been to Italy yet, so blame my generational disposition for thinking of pizza and green ooze when the name “Donatello” comes up. And Donny’s sculptures will have to surmount a high bar if they’re going to take the turtles’ spot, as will the weed strain of the same name, a daytime-friendly hybrid that’s been making the rounds at a few Denver dispensaries.

The Colorado Supreme Court has overruled a district court decision that upheld a county court ruling requiring a doctor’s testimony for medical marijuana patients who want to use their medication while on probation. The Colorado Supreme Court decision, handed down November 18, weakens the restrictions and burdens of proof that Colorado judges can place on medical marijuana patients.

In their decision, the justices said that unless a probationer’s medical marijuana use conflicts with the specified goals of sentencing, cannabis use should be allowed.

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