Browsing: Opinion

Herbert Fuego

Ever see a parody before the original, or hear a sample before the real song? Like listening to “Weird Al” Yankovic’s Amish Paradise years before you discover Coolio’s gangsta inspiration. (I used to be really white.)

The revelation that you’ve been duped into thinking an imitation was the real thing can be both refreshing and disturbing. You’re glad to finally get it right, but you have to wonder how many times you were wrong before. I couldn’t help but feel that surge of excitement the first time I encountered the Cough. Was it one of the Strawberry Cough’s unknown parents? Did Devin the Dude and his Coughee Brothaz christen the strain? Neither of those fantasies ended up being true, but the real story isn’t a bad consolation prize

Herbert Fuego

A strange Juicy Fruit gum commercial in the early 2000s had a man in a whale costume and a woman in overalls singing about “caring and sharing” on a children’s TV show. The scene was pretty wholesome until the whale stole Juicy Fruit from the woman’s pocket and ran. The previously caring woman tackled the whale like a free safety and pummeled him while the song about “caring and sharing” continued playing in the background.

Someone stealing a 25-cent stick of gum could never make me that angry, but a $35 eighth under the same name? That’s a different story. 

Scott Lentz

Is there a fast-forward option for the rest of July? I’ve been waking up with a sweaty back every morning for three weeks now. I understand that our trash cans aren’t melting and our airports aren’t being shut down, as they are in Arizona, but we’re not used to this shit.

Getting motivated to play outside like you once did during the summer gets harder as the years go by, especially when it’s 90 degrees out in the morning. These eight sativas might not lower your body temperature, but they’ll chill your mind enough to stop worrying about those musty britches you’ve been walking around in all day.

The Adaptive/Shutterstock.com

Dear out-of-state performers who are scheduled to visit Colorado,

Listen, Coloradans understand getting too fucked up on pot to function. After all, marijuana in some form has been legal in this state for seventeen — seventeen! — years, giving us ample opportunity to experiment (and fail) with dosage. And we’re used to seeing our parents or friends visiting from out of state eat too much of a brownie or take one too many rips of a bong and suffer through the weirds.

Herbert Fuego

Landrace strains will always be worth trying, even as hybrid genetics move them further and further away from the originals. Afghani and Durban Poison are popular landraces that are usually easy to find around town, and I’ve come across Maui Wowie and Hindu Kush from time to time, but I’ve had little success finding South American favorites like Acapulco Gold, which helped birth so many of the strains we love today. Colombian Gold, a cousin to the famed Mexican sativas, doesn’t carry quite the rep, but I was still ecstatic to see it at a local pot shop.

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