Browsing: Opinion

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: My roommate and I were thinking about getting into growing. I own the house and am learning about equipment, but what are some good strains to start with? Are some better for beginners than others?
New Jack

Dear Jack: Treat growing cannabis like cooking: Some dishes are easier than others. There are so many factors that can make one strain more difficult than another, including vegetation and flowering time, reaction to trimming, resilience against pests, temperature and light changes, and much more. Only experience will help you control these variables with different strains, but some are definitely more low-maintenance than others.

grapefuit_durbanHerbert Fuego

Did you know that we’ve learned more about space than we have about cannabis? I totally just made that up, but the point remains: There are too many uncharted strains out there. We come across a new species of pot much more often than an astronomer discovers some black hole, and the origins of some of these strains are just as dark. So it’s always nice to come across something new whose origins are relatively easy to trace, especially when the strain is as bomb as Grapefruit Durban.

I stumbled on Grapefruit Durban almost two years ago. It’s been around town since at least late 2014 and seems to be a Colorado-only strain on the commercial side, as there is little information about it online other than its infrequent appearances on a few Denver menus. With such a straightforward name, though, the strain’s genetics are easy to determine.

For the uninitiated, Grapefruit Durban is bred from Grapefruit and Durban Poison strains — two of my favorite sativas, thanks to the instant energy they bring. Grapefruit, bred from Cinderella 99 and an unknown auto-flowering sativa, is beloved for its heavy citrus, tropical aromas and relatively easy growing process. Durban Poison, a landrace sativa I write about often, is one of Colorado’s most popular, with a sweet, skunky flavor and intense head high.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I’ve seen some dispensaries that have rooms for only medical customers, some for only recreational customers and some that sell to both. It seems inefficient, so why all the separation?
Joey

Dear Joey: Yes, it does seem inefficient when you see the exact same products on both sides. But when recreational marijuana became legal in this state, the law called for separating medical patients from retail customers.

As a result, any pot shop that sells to both medical and recreational crowds needs to have licenses for each, and to keep those licenses, it needs to have separate medical and retail marijuana inventory, tracking and customers. If a bud room only has one point-of-sale system, then only one of the consumer demographics can be served. While some dispensaries prefer individual rooms for each side in order to ensure privacy, others will install two POS systems in a bud room and simply split it in half with an imaginary line or rope.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I’ve seen some dispensaries that have rooms for only medical customers, some for only recreational customers and some that sell to both. It seems inefficient, so why all the separation?
Joey

Dear Joey: Yes, it does seem inefficient when you see the exact same products on both sides. But when recreational marijuana became legal in this state, the law called for separating medical patients from retail customers.

As a result, any pot shop that sells to both medical and recreational crowds needs to have licenses for each, and to keep those licenses, it needs to have separate medical and retail marijuana inventory, tracking and customers. If a bud room only has one point-of-sale system, then only one of the consumer demographics can be served. While some dispensaries prefer individual rooms for each side in order to ensure privacy, others will install two POS systems in a bud room and simply split it in half with an imaginary line or rope.

lavenderHerbert Fuego

My eighty-something-year-old grandmother caught me smoking a joint in my parents’ garage while I was home for Christmas. Instead of getting mad, she chastised me for my “foul, skunky-smelling” pot. “Can’t you get something that smells nice? Like lavender?” she asked. You bet your ass I can, Grandma — even though you’re missing the point on the skunk. Let me introduce you to my silky friend, Lavender Jones.

Lavender Jones is quickly becoming the most popular “Lavender” strain in Colorado, lining shelves at chain dispensaries and independent shops alike. But how could it miss with a name like that? Lavender Jones sounds like a smooth-talkin’ player swaggering down Colfax with a bulge in his pants and a smile that makes the ladies swoon — and that’s exactly how I feel after blazing it.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I recently made the mistake of eating a gummy bear with THC. I have not had any marijuana in years, but I have an upcoming drug test in seven days. Should I be concerned?
Tilly

Dear Tilly: Yes, Tilly, be concerned. Do hash and Haribos just taste the same to you? And who’s the asshole who tricked you into eating one? Address those two issues and you’ll probably never run into this dilemma again. I’ve had tons of idiot friends call me out of the blue, frantically asking if they were “good” after smoking a joint while in the Army or days before a random drug test, and I basically tell them all the same thing: It depends. It depends on your diet, your metabolism, the amount of THC you ingested, how you ingested it, how long since you last ingested THC and, most important, what sort of drug test it is. Drug tests that use hair or blood samples instead of urine or saliva can detect THC more accurately.

skunkberryHerbert Fuego

Recreational marijuana has been sold legally in this state for over three years, but Colorado still hasn’t rolled out the red carpet for cannabis hospitality; you can thank restrictive consumption laws for that.

Fortunately, we’d already perfected the art of hastily packing and smoking bowls in the parking lot before a wedding — but serving guests pot hors d’oeuvre at a swanky Kentucky Derby party would still be pretty fucking awesome.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I want to send some marijuana for a friend in need who lives in a non-MMJ state. What do you recommend?
TJ

Dear TJ: For shipping, repackage the MMJ products (foil for candy bars, baggies for brownies, vials for tinctures, vitamin bottles for pills, etc.). Put stuff like clothes, chips or any random trinket on top of the pot to make it look like a care package. If you’re really paranoid, you can shave off or melt the green “THC” stamps most edibles have now, but you’re probably wasting your time: I ship with USPS without a return address and pay with cash, and usually use a fake name for the receiver. The Post Office doesn’t require an ID check from the sender or receiver, and you’ll still get a tracking number.

ask_a_stonerWestword

Dear Stoner: I’ve had retail dispensaries scan my ID and put my info in their computers or hold my ID until I speak to a budtender. One said that they had to confirm that my ID was up to date, but the majority of retail dispensaries give my ID a quick look and give it back. Seems shady.
Christie

Dear Christie: State law only requires visual inspection at dispensaries, the way a bouncer at a bar does it — but municipalities can come up with their own policies. In answer to a similar question in 2015, a spokeswoman for the City of Aurora said it forced dispensaries to scan IDs before entry because computers are “capable of quickly and reliably confirming the validity of an identification.” That requirement is uncommon, however, and doesn’t exist in Denver — though that doesn’t stop Denver pot shops from scanning IDs or holding them until you’re at the counter. The most common explanations we’ve heard from dispensaries is that they hold on to IDs to verify that they’re real and to ensure that no one goes over their daily ounce limit — but I’ve also heard of dispensaries creating customer profiles from your information. It’s a dispensary’s right to do either; it’s also your right to go somewhere else.

cookiescreamHerbert Fuego

Most male champions in thoroughbred horse racing end up studding after they retire, meaning their owners collect six figures while they impregnate mares in one of the most highly esteemed prostitution rings in sports. American Pharaoh, the first horse to win the Triple Crown in 37 years, charges $200,000 a pop. But Tapit, a lesser-known horse with fewer trophies, commands $300,000. Why? Because Tapit’s children win more races.

Tapit and Girl Scout Cookies have a lot in common: A very popular strain on its own, Girl Scout Coookies is becoming just as beloved for its offspring as it is for itself — if not more. GSC’s kids include Gelato, Platinum GSC, Sherbet and Thin Mints, a couple of which are personal favorites. But Exotic Genetix out of Washington state might’ve created the strongest colt of all with its thunderous Cookies and Cream. Bred from a GSC phenotype and Starfighter, a rare Alien hybrid, Cookies and Cream can test above 32 percent THC — but it’s proven to have more than just brawn. Its supreme potency, looks, smell, flavor and high make it a true five-tool player, something Nolan Arenado would smoke if he were allowed to — but not before batting practice. This sugary treat isn’t going to help your coordination.

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