Strawberry ice cream and milkshakes will never get the same love as their chocolate and vanilla counterparts. Is that fair? Not really. Almost anything is better than vanilla, the missionary position of ice cream. And while strawberry isn’t quite in chocolate’s reverse-cowgirl territory, it’s nearing the same ballpark. So stop treating frozen strawberry treats like an over-the-pants hand job, America. They deserve better.
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I’ve accumulated a pile of at least twelve unread books over the past few years. I still intend to read them, but that stack is more likely to grow than shrink anytime soon. Japan has a word for lazy book collectors like me: tsundoku. That term very much applies to cannabis, as well. Dozens of strains have piqued my interest while I’ve been out shopping, only to be pushed down the queue by a sexier, stankier bud that catches my attention. Finally, though, after months of passing it over, I gave Strawberry Diesel a shot, and it made me wonder the same thing I thought after reading Friday Night Lights: What took me so long?
Don’t start talking cereal with a stoner unless you want to go down an annoying rabbit hole as you discuss the differences between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Golden Grahams. We may seem laid-back, but when it comes to cereal, we have opinions — and nothing tops the Cap’n.
I’ve never been a big fan of Puff Daddy’s name changes. I stick with calling him Puff Daddy rather than P. Diddy, Puffy, Diddy or his latest and lamest attempt to stay relevant, Brother Love. In the weed world, Berry White (the strain, not the legendary baritone) has been given the Puff Daddy treatment, with Blue Widow, Blue Venom and White Berry serving as alter-egos. All of those strains have the same genetics of Blueberry and White Widow, yet the offspring has at least four different names. So what gives?
We all have our own reasons for loving cannabis, and one of my biggest is the way it enhances nostalgia. Cartoons, music and food from my childhood all have a little extra meaning after I smoke pot — and let’s face it: No one my age has any other reason to watch Good Burger. My love for Halloween has undoubtedly returned to peak levels thanks to the plant, leading me to geek out on slasher films, popcorn balls and pumpkin carving during and after each smoke sesh this past month.
As a self-appointed expert on underappreciated fruits, I feel confident saying that blackberries don’t get the love and attention they deserve. Blackberries are bigger than raspberries, sweeter than blueberries, and don’t require any pitting or spitting like cherries and strawberries. Get rid of açaí and add more blackberries to your life, America. Let’s make breakfast bowls great again.
I’ve always loved fruity-flavored cannabis. Not the citrus-heavy strains like Lemon Skunk or Grapefruit, which are great in their own way — but sweet and decadent strains like Cannalope Kush, Cherry Pie and Strawberry Cough. They’re a welcome break from OG-heavy kushes and pungent Diesels and Skunks. Everyone enjoys a visit to the candy shop sometimes, and when you get there, you’re going to want to pick up some Blueberry.
Blueberry is one of the few varieties of flower that you’ll find in a dispensary that might be older than you, other than landrace strains — and that’s because it was bred from them. Blueberry is part of an old genetics line developed by famed breeder DJ Short that includes other hits like Blue Moonshine and Flo. In the 1970s, Short introduced Blueberry to Europe after mixing together a pure Afghani indica with pure Thai and possibly Mexican sativas. The result was a heavy, indica-dominant hybrid with a smell and taste unknown to cannabis but familiar in kitchens: sweet, sweet blueberry pie. The strain’s rich flavor is much closer to frozen-juice concentrate than it is to diluted juice. Like Strawberry Cough, Blueberry has a syrupy aspect, but with earthy notes of hash at the end for balance rather than zest and spice.
Recreational marijuana has been sold legally in this state for over three years, but Colorado still hasn’t rolled out the red carpet for cannabis hospitality; you can thank restrictive consumption laws for that.
Fortunately, we’d already perfected the art of hastily packing and smoking bowls in the parking lot before a wedding — but serving guests pot hors d’oeuvre at a swanky Kentucky Derby party would still be pretty fucking awesome.
Who doesn’t like the word “juicy”? Besides being the name of one of Biggie’s most recognizable songs, almost everything sounds better when described as “juicy.” Fruits, steaks, derrieres, bits of information — they’re all more desirable when juicy. Just hearing the word makes me imagine something ripe and refreshing. Something like Strawberry Banana — the cannabis strain, not the smoothie.
Although not yet as popular as Tangie or Strawberry Cough, Strawberry Banana is one of the juiciest strains I’ve ever come across. It quickly fills a room with a blend of terpenes that smell like a cross between a box of Fruit Loops and a bag of chopped strawberries and bananas that you left in the sun too long. Trying it for the first time is a real eye-opener, but the high will close those eyes soon enough.
Well, that was an interesting start to November. While the country argued with itself and my Facebook feed became full of hot takes, misinformation and vitriol (don’t blame the media when you’re so good at getting it wrong all by yourself), I was ready to roast a bone and wait for it all to blow over. A heavy hybrid was in need to put my mind and body at ease, so I went on the hunt for one of my favorites from the Bay Area, Bubbleberry.