Granola Funk isn’t a jam band that opens for Phish or Umphrey’s McGee, but it might be in the same ballpark. The potent hybrid’s name could easily double as a new genre of yuppie psychedelic music taking over the Front Range, and its characteristics are full of relaxation and nostalgia: perfect for a mid-summer night at Red Rocks.
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Combatting the stoner stereotype is the rage these days, and I’m all for it. Having moms and working professionals come out of the closet, hitting vape pens and microdosing edibles to kick ass and relax without the Cheetos, is great for diversifying the consumer image. But sometimes I just want to get giggly-baked, eat chicken nuggets and laugh at poop jokes, and I’m not afraid to admit it.
There’s a reason your cousins in the Midwest can pound more Coors Lights than you: For five months out of the year, it’s too fucking cold to do anything else in Minnesota, Wisconsin or anywhere else that calls a soft drink “pop” instead of “soda.” Luckily for us in Colorado, most of our winter days are spent on the slopes or enjoying a sunny day in Denver. And even when we do get stuck inside, keeping out of the cold, we have better options for inebriation.
Because of the body high and relaxing effects they tend to give, indicas and indica-leaning hybrids of cannabis strains are your best choice for warming up after a few hours in frigid temperatures. They relax rigid joints, warm up the chest and get your stomach ready for a hot meal. Don’t believe me? Try any one of these ten winter indicas by the fire and see for yourself.
If Disney and its horde of lawyers served Colorado cannabis companies with lawsuits and cease-and-desist orders for Star Wars ripoffs, as the Girl Scouts of America and Gorilla Glue did for strains named after their respective brands, nearly every pot menu in Denver would be affected. Skywalker, Skywalker OG, Death Star and Princess Leia are easy to find in dispensaries, with Ewok, Jedi Kush and Boba Fett popping up intermittently as well.
Mowgli Holmes gave the keynote at the Seed to Sale Show in Denver on January 31, and he taught the crowd a thing or two — or six — about cannabis. Holmes is the co-founder and chief scientific officer at Phylos Bioscience, which has created a web of over a thousand cannabis strains. The web links strains that are in the same family and provide growers and consumers with scientific knowledge about the plant that has never been documented in one place before.
Not all stoners are Star Wars fans, but I’d bet a lot of the midnight movie-goers at Rogue One: A Star Wars Story last week were smoking themselves into a galaxy far, far away before walking into theaters. Cheering on Leia, Luke and the boys as they fight the Evil Empire is a pastime for many potheads, but not all. Some of us just want to get blunted and listen to the voice of James Earl Jones voice rule with an iron fist as he Force-chokes peons to oblivion. For that, I give you Death Star.
The industry is worried.
Here’s your daily round-up of pot-news, excerpted from the newsletter WeedWeek.
President-elect Donald Trump nominated anti-pot hardliner Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama (R) for Attorney General. At a Senate hearing in April 2016, Sessions said that ‘we need grown-ups in charge in Washington to say marijuana is not the kind of thing that ought to be legalized, it ought not to be minimized, that it’s in fact a very real danger.’
“I think one of [Obama’s] great failures, it’s obvious to me, is his lax treatment in comments on marijuana,” Sessions said at the hearing. “It reverses 20 years almost of hostility to drugs that began really when Nancy Reagan started ‘Just Say No.’ ”
Lawmakers, he said, have to “send that message with clarity that good people don’t smoke marijuana.”
USNews calls Sessions an “ Existential threat” to state-legal cannabis. Industry leaders are very nervous.
Reason points out that Sessions has an “aversion to civil rights” and gay rights. The U.S. Senate failed to confirm him for a federal judgeship in 1986, amid allegations of what late Senator Ted Kennedy called “racial insensitivity” and “lack of commitment to equal justice under the law.” The New York Times editorializes that the nomination is an “ insult to justice.”
The Sessions nomination needs to be approved by the Senate. Have a view you want to share? Contact your Senator.
Before the Sessions pick, the Washington Post’s Radley Balko said former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) would also be “ terrifying.”
Before the Sessions pick, anti-legalization activist Kevin Sabet said, “A Trump administration throws everything up in the air… “Is it going to be ‘ states’ rights Trump’ or ‘law-and-order Trump’?”
Marijuana.com’s Tom Angell has launched a petition for Trump to keep his “marijuana pledge” to respect state laws. Even if he doesn’t go after the industry, The Stranger says President Trump will make the industry whiter.
It’s official, Denver will be the first U.S. city to license social use businesses.
Tennessee Attorney General Herbert Slatery (R), said looser cannabis regulations in Memphis and Nashville can’t stand.
Due to a glitch, it appears that MED in California will be tax-free until the state’s REC program begins in 2018.
Some conservatives don’t like that MED patients can’t buy guns.
Have you ever heard of a legendary strain on the street but never found it? Like that urban legend about catfish the size of a Volkswagen at the bottom of the lake, some tales are too good to be true. For me, L.A. Confidential was that car-sized catfish for the longest time — until I caught the sonofabitch on a college trip to San Diego. But now, thanks to legalization, you don’t have to travel that far to find this beast.
Some of you might know L.A. Confidential as an underrated neo-noir crime movie from the mid-’90s starring Kevin Spacey, but potheads, especially those on the West Coast, know it as a classic indica strain that is not to be taken lightly. As the name suggests, the strain was born in Southern California, gaining prominence in the early 2000s and winning third and second place in the 2004 and 2005High Times Cannabis Cups for best indica. Bred by DNA Genetics, L.A. Confidential is an artistic mixture of an Afghani phenotype and landrace indica, OG LA Affie. The combination creates beautiful, bright-green nugs with vibrant mauve streaks, like Palo Verde trees in a Mojave desert sunset, and the high is just as relaxing.
Potentially a model for the country as well.
Here’s your daily round up of pot news, excerpted from the newsletter WeedWeek.
Politico explains how California’s REC initiative, if passed, will disrupt the existing supply chain and provide a windfall to distributors. No other state has a similar model.
A majority of California Latinos oppose legalization, though it’s somewhat more popular among younger voters.
No, this isn’t a super-happy cult: It’s a cannabis and yoga class put together by the master of relaxation himself. We recently interviewed Yogi D about his upcoming 420 Yoga Retreat, happening at Aspen Canyon Ranch on September 30 through October 2.
For a taste of what’s to come, Yogi D invited Westword into the sacred and spiritual realm that only the pairing of yoga and marijuana consumption can tap into. The class took place in Cluster Studios, an artist space that hosts cannabis-friendly events at 3881 Steele Street. The late-night crowd was comfortable, and people only got more comfortable as one-hitters were passed around in a circle outside the front door. The atmosphere was welcoming to even the most novice of beginners.