While the War on Drugs has become the largest political sideshow the United States has even produced, there is simply no denying the heaping helping of humor that has manifested from the nation’s lust for the dust and Uncle Sam’s madcap approach to keeping their nose clean, so to speak. Yet, that has not stopped thousands of people every year from pushing bags of brown, white and green dope into nearly every orifice of their bodies, in hopes of bamboozling drug-sniffing authorities all over the country.
Unfortunately, while squeezing a fat sack of crack between your butt cheeks can sometimes be an effective method for avoiding a shakedown, the moment some large meathead cop whispers something in your ear like, “What’s your sign, sailor,” there is a damn good chance you are about to fisted in the back room by a group of sexually confused law enforcement cronies.

Federal agents busted a onetime Playboy model and a pilot at John Wayne Airport after their private plane that had arrived with them from Las Vegas was found to have nearly 60,000 Ecstasy pills and almost 90 pounds of Ecstasy powder onboard, authorities say.
The Smoking Gun reports a tip about possible drug or currency smuggling led federal agents to question Krista Boseley, 30, and Gilles Lapointe, 61, upon their landing at the Santa Ana airport on Thursday, Oct. 9.

We’ve been over this before, but bringing pot into prison for an incarcerated inmate is not the best idea, but it’s especially dumb if you’re already in jail yourself or happen to work there.
Case and point: Vermont inmates Trish Belliveau and Wesley Kidder and former Windsor Prison guard Brett Jasinski, both convicted of bringing marijuana into a detention facility after Belliveau bribed Jaslinski into bringing pot and cigarettes back into the prison while Belliveau was out on furlough. It’s a strange story that involves some bumbling cloak and dagger actions, notably that the entire thing was caught on security cameras.

There’s a new all-time record for the largest unsuccessful pot-smuggling attempt in Arizona. The previous record was set in January, when a Mexican man attempted to drive 14,121 pounds of pot — with an estimated value of $7.1 million — through the port of entry in Nogales.
A U.S. Customs and Border Protection spokesman says details on this bust will be released at a press conference tomorrow afternoon, but says this haul was worth more than $10.1 million. Phoenix New Times has the full story.