Dear Stoner: Are there any cannabis-friendly nursing or retirement homes in Colorado? I’m going to need one sooner than later.
Joe
Browsing: Culture
Everybody has their own tells when they’re high. For most people, it’s the red eyes, giggles or slow reaction time, but my giveaway has always been weed breath. Brushing teeth, drinking soda, chewing gum — none of them work as fast as they should, and that’s tripped me up plenty of times during conversations and other face-to-face encounters.
Dear Stoner: Can bees pollinate marijuana? Would it get them high if they did?
Weed Keeper
Some of us might have a friend whose pet accidentally ate a pot brownie once, but a veterinary hospital in Denver recently reported a significant rise in dogs coming in after ingesting marijuana edibles. Alameda East Veterinary Hospital used to see seventeen dogs a year for marijuana sickness, but since marijuana became legalized, it’s now increased to seventeen dogs a month, according to staff.
Most of my Denver friends are too good for a hot dog unless it’s made of something like African wild boar or organically grown plants. I’m not afraid to stick my nose up at a tube of mystery meat, though, and will gladly shave off a few minutes of my life span for a convenient $1 dog downtown. But even I have limits, and will never touch hot dogs served at gas stations or the Fox Creek Junior High cafeteria.
Most words used to describe cannabis smells are terms that only a pothead would love. Generally, people don’t want to hear “skunky,” “diesel” and “dank” associated with their food, drinks or even tobacco. But hand over a nug that smells like a Gerber baby dump wrapped in burnt rubber, and stoners freak out.
Dear Stoner: What is proper tipping for budtenders? Tip jars are everywhere now, and I generally know what I want without help, so why tip a budtender for handing me pre-packaged weed? If I ask questions, then I’ll leave a tip. Some budtenders act like they expect one just for ringing me up.
Social Filter
As more and more states legalize recreational cannabis, numerous studies investigate potential long-term effects, such as youth use and addiction. But one new study shows that puffing and passing carries a more immediate risk: a head cold.
Without getting into specifics, let’s just say a certain R&B singer’s gross sexual history has caused me to look for a new go-to karaoke song. Although a few Queen classics initially seemed like fun choices, I quickly realized that I was foolish to think I could win a room trying to impersonate Freddie Mercury. It seemed like my once-every-six-months career was over.
Then I discovered Randy Newman.
A rare strain at the moment, Randy Newman can be fou
That Area 51 raid sure came out like a wet fart after all that. The event page’s creator now wants to throw a festival in a town near the restricted military base instead, surprising and exciting no one. So instead of stealing a dope-ass laser gun from the Man, I’ll just have to get high and watch Mars Attacks! or something. To up my desperate ante for Nevada alien action, I might even smoke a Tahoe Alien or two.