Don’t start talking cereal with a stoner unless you want to go down an annoying rabbit hole as you discuss the differences between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Golden Grahams. We may seem laid-back, but when it comes to cereal, we have opinions — and nothing tops the Cap’n.

You know something’s great when you disregard the pain it brings, and I’ll take the razor-like cuts on the roof of my mouth every morning if it means I also get a bowl of Cap’n Crunch — any kind. I’ve even had Cap’n Crunch beers, thanks to Black Bottle Brewery’s Cerealiously line of stouts, as well as a Cap’n Crunchberries Slurpee at 7-Eleven. Both were delicious, and, yes, I was fried when I tried them. So when I saw a jar of frosty buds labeled “Crunch Berry” during a recent pot-shop visit, my mouth started salivating like Homer Simpson’s at the sight of doughnuts.

I like to think I’m a pretty hip guy. My beard’s trimmed, I get most of the shit on Saturday Night Live. My memes are fresh. And when something starts attracting adulation, I want to find out why. So after visiting the third dispensary in a row with a jar of Mandarin Cookies, I decided to stick my hand inside and smell the commotion. Spoiler alert: It’s worth the hype.

I received a lot of Pez dispensers when I was a kid: Bugs Bunny, C-3PO, Scooby-Doo, Pikachu — you name it. While I later found out that my mom just bought the dispensers as an excuse to eat the candy that came with them, that didn’t dissuade me from trying out a strain inspired by Pez. A heavy, relaxing hybrid that tastes like candy sounded good on a recent dispensary visit, so I bought an eighth of Sour Pez, a special that day, without doing much inspection of the strain. The jury’s still out on whether that was a mistake or not.

People say that a sure sign of aging is that your hangovers get worse, but if you can battle through the pain and make it to work, that proves you’re still young at heart. They’re wrong: The real sign that you’re moving over the hill comes when you start preferring going out during the day to going out at night, when both your body and your mind have had it with the bar-room chumming, tequila shots and Taco Bell runs. Now you care more about raking leaves, finishing The Haunting of Hill House before social media spoils it, and enjoying a good meal.

If going hard at brunch now means buds instead of booze, you can get the best of both worlds from Mimosa, a sativa-leaning hybrid named after the favored Sunday cocktail. A child of Clementine and Purple Punch, Mimosa is a strain new to the Mile High that’s gotten off to a quick start. It appeared on several best-newcomer lists this year, including our own, and can be found at a handful of dispensaries around Denver despite not having shown up until 2017.

My birthday is coming up, but I won’t be asking for cake. I’m a pie guy and always have been. Yet despite my affinity for pies, I’ve never come across a grape pie. Growing up, I saw purple filling in cartoon pies, but those were always filled with blackberries…weren’t they?

Turns out Concord grape pies are actually a thing, baked mostly in western New York and parts of Pennsylvania during harvest season. But in progressive Denver, Grape Pie bakes you.