Colorado has the best summer weather that a semi-active stoner could ask for: not too hot and usually not too humid. But the Mile High City has been sweatier than a New York City subway station lately, and it’s barely mid-June. To ensure that the heat wouldn’t make me snap before July 4, I needed a heavy indica to ice me down. And I found the ultimate cool customer: Alley Cat Kush.

Good for all sorts of shady fun and nefarious activities, alleys are an underrated pathway of American culture. Alley Cat Kush is just as underappreciated, with a scrappy OG lineage that’s as sweet as they come, despite the public-school name. Not to be confused with the infamous Cat Piss — a variety of Super Silver Haze that actually smells like urine — Alley Cat Kush is an unknown cross of OG Kush, which is evident the second its zesty, earthy funk hits your nostrils.

Too much of a good thing can quickly become a bad thing. Nitro coffee and milk, for example: It’s a delicious concoction that will leave me strung out like Sheila from Friday after more than a few drinks. Certain sativas often act like nitro coffee in a weed jar, which is why Sour Tangie — a combination of sativa powerhouses Sour Diesel and Tangie — was one of the more intimidating strains I’ve encountered of late.

Kobe Bryant chucked a lot of junk at the hoop and had poor stats in clutch moments, but his delusional fans still try to inject his name into conversations about LeBron and MJ. (Feel free to email me your hot takes that argue otherwise.) Needless to say, I’m not a fan. So when I saw a strain named Black Mamba — the nickname of the all-time clunker — I abstained. But then a plump, purple cut on display at Verde Natural persuaded me to give it a try.

Like most egotistical turds without any friends to give him one, Kobe had to adopt his own nickname, one that he thought signified how his superior competitive ability would finish his opponents with the venom-like ferocity of an African snake. The Black Mamba strain, however, is anything but forced, with at least three different variants all deserving of the moniker.