David Wayne Jordan allegedly wrapped marijuana around an arrow and shot it up to a second-story rec yard of the Whatcom County Jail in Bellingham, Washington earlier this week.
As far as smuggling marijuana into a jail goes, this method may take the badassery award. The person executing the maneuver, however, wasn’t quite up to the task. Which, obviously, is why we know his name.
Police say 36-year-old Jordan fired the arrow with a few joint’s worth of marijuana taped to the middle about 8:40 a.m. Tuesday from the side of his red Ford pickup truck with a hunting bow. Instead of lofting gracefully to a stoner-in-need prisoner (or a squirrel, see below), it landed on a rooftop.
Police say he could have actually landed the herb in the yard if his aim was better and if he were better at camouflaging himself. A “civilian employee” watched the whole thing go down and was able to write down Jordan’s plates as he sped off.
For his part, Jordan sys he was merely hunting squirrels. “He had no explanation as to why squirrel hunting requires attaching marijuana to an arrow,” Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo tells the Bellingham Herald, which broke the story.
Clearly the Sheriff has never been squirrel hunting the correct way. Everyone knows that squirrels love marijuana and that by firing a marijuana-laden arrow into a tree near a squirrel you can entice them to eat the pot and therefore get so stoned they take a pot nap and fall into your waiting squirrel sack.
Cops say the marijuana baggie only contained a few grams of pot, but it also had an “unidentified” substance. No word on if it was squirrel bait.
When the po po showed up at Jordan’s house, he refused to let them in without a search warrant (good job and exactly what you should do). Of course, the cops did get a warrant and Jordan eventually admitted to firing the arrow into the jail.
Jordan – who was in jail earlier this month on assault and resisting arrest charges – is now headed back to jail for introducing contraband to a corrections facility in the third degree, resisting arrest and “obstructing law enforcement”. You can tell they were just tacking stuff on there at the end out of spite, can’t you?
Jordan was held on a $2,000 bond. No word on if he’s free and back to squirrel stalking.