Pope Francis isn’t down with weed legalization



So, the new Pope isn’t down with pot. What a shocker.
After riding an almost unprecedented wave of mainstream popularity, Pope Francis somehow surprised a whole lot of stoners last week by officially condemning cannabis use, as well as the rising tide of legalization, in a speech given to the International Drug Enforcement Conference.

Speaking to the group last Friday in Rome, the head of one of the most criminally corrupt organizations in the history of mankind managed to keep a straight face as he told those in attendance, “Drug addiction is an evil, and with evil there can be no yielding or compromise.”
Some would say that condoned pedophilia, prescribed poverty, and a near-genocidal misinformation campaign about AIDS in Africa to be a bit evil, but hey, who are we to judge?
In an attempt to quell worldwide movements towards cannabis acceptance, Pope Francis went on to mumble that such policies are “not only highly questionable from a legislative standpoint, but they fail to produce the desired effects.” He concluded with, “To think that harm can be reduced by permitting drug addicts to use narcotics in no way resolves the problem.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Frank! Who’s talking about drugs? Weren’t we talking about weed?
Again, the fact that the Catholic Church is coming out against a plant that can totally substitute the flock’s need for religious guidance should surprise nobody.
That the Church is guilty of sins and crimes that make pedophilia seem mundane, and make pot smoking seem downright honorable, should disqualify the opinion of any Pope, on any social issue, for the rest of time.
If you remember, Pope Francis took over in February of 2013 after Pope Benedict XVI bailed on the job – the first Pope to opt for early retirement since the year 1415. So Francis takes over the scandal ridden church and in a move that would make Mitt Romney blush, he hired a FOX News consultant to run the new public relations division of the Catholic Church.
53-year old Greg Burke worked for FOX News since 2001 before leaving to join the Vatican’s PR team. He likens his job to that of a White House Press Secretary, saying, “This is more the strategy, the shape-the-message, formulate-the-message, and then try to figure out how best to transmit it.”
Burke committed to a life of celibacy at the age of 23 and reportedly practices self-flagellation which isn’t quite as disgusting as it sounds, but still involves beating or whipping oneself to get closer to god.
So, yeah…a FOX News guy who hasn’t gotten laid in 30 years (if ever) is advising this new Pope and, lo and behold, they don’t support cannabis legalization.
It is estimated that as many as two million people still die of HIV/AIDS every year on this planet, a large amount of them in Africa. With 1.2 billion members, the Catholic Church has taken the stance that birth control methods, much like marijuana, are evil.
Furthermore, the Church has publicly announced on many occasions that not only will condoms not help in the fight against AIDS, but that birth control methods only “aggravate the problem“.
So, to recap the stance of the Catholic Church: Condoms give you AIDS and marijuana is evil.
Sounds like something you might hear on FOX News.