Browsing: Dispensaries

hemlockHerbert Fuego

We all have weird personal connections to certain words that cause us to hate them. I’m not talking about squirming when you hear “moist,” but about opinions that date from childhood, like my dislike for “hemlock.” Even before I knew the word’s definition, hemlock sounded like some fatal coughing disease from the 1600s, or a foreboding local swamp in which Timmy Flanagan drowned.

I wasn’t terribly off: Hemlock is a poisonous plant, notorious for being brewed into tea that was used to execute Socrates. It’s also the name of a shitty horror show on Netflix, the first (and last) heavy-metal band I saw live, and a popular weed strain in Colorado. As a result, my relationship with “hemlock” has gone from blocked to online lurking through dispensary menus.

screen_shot_2019-12-18_at_11.12.28_amDenver Police Department

A string of armed robberies at Denver-area marijuana dispensaries over the past two months continued into this week, according to the Denver Police Department, with the latest stickup taking place at one of Colorado’s largest dispensary chains.

Armed robbers barged into a Native Roots location near Denver International Airport on North Tower Road on Monday, December 16, demanding cash from an employee, according to the DPD and Native Roots. Police officials say it’s the sixth armed-robbery attempt at a Denver-area dispensary since early November, and they believe the crimes are connected to the same group of suspects.

honey_pot_lounge_collins20190407_033 (1)Jacqueline Collins

Colorado dispensaries will almost certainly break another annual sales record for the fifth straight year since recreational weed stores first opened for business on January 1, 2014.

According to data from the state Department of Revenue, Colorado dispensaries accounted for just under $150.5 million in sales in October. Recreational pot sales came in just over $121.2 million, while medical marijuana accounted for approximately $29.2 million.

While that figure is lower than the month before, it reflects what’s become a standard seasonal decline in pot sales. It also all but locks up 2019’s rise past 2018 to tally the most marijuana sales dollars in a calendar year.

sunsetHerbert Fuego

Daily commuters deserve more sympathy. Not only will the stress and time-suck of rush hour shave years off your life, but the drive will also rob you of the simple things, like daytime television, regular happy hours and the sun. Remember the sun? Anyone who’s out the door before 7 a.m. and off work after 5 p.m. during the winter knows how draining life can be without sunlight, whether you believe in chakras and things that retrograde or not.

It might not be as sexy as scurvy, but Vitamin D deficiency is serious stuff, so in Colorado we make our own ultraviolet rays. Just look in a stoner’s basement, and you’ll find several hundred watts of them. We also make our own indoor sunsets, for about $35 an eighth.

strain_mac (1)Herbert Fuego

The year is almost over, and it’s time we try to remember everything we smoked. (And we really do mean try.) But it’s hard to forget how popular strains like Lilac Diesel and MAC became at dispensaries in 2019, or how hard it was to stand up after sessions of Bubble Jack and Strawberry Milkshake.

While it’s impossible to try every cannabis variety, we certainly burned through our fair share. After the smoke cleared around various cuts of Cookies, Kush, Diesel and anything in between, we picked these ten as our favorite Colorado weed strains of 2019 (in no particular order):

Another mold and yeast recall has hit Denver’s marijuana business. The contamination level in this recall measures thousands of times the state’s limit, highlighting a growing concern for the commercial pot industry.

According to the city’s Department of Public Health and Environment, marijuana plant material and pre-rolled joints from wholesale grower Royal Resin tested positive for potential dangerous mold and yeast levels. The flagged weed had been sent to six different dispensaries, with most of it going to Diego Pellicer at 2949 West Alameda Avenue.

four_kingsHerbert Fuego

Remember Three Kings, the 1999 movie about the end of the Gulf War? Underrated flick: George Clooney, Edward Norton, Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg and Spike Jonze all in one great cast, before any of them peaked, showing nine-year-old me just how fucked up the world is.

Discovering a strain with the name Four Kings had me wondering if a direct-to-DVD sequel to Three Kings starring Dolph Lundgren or Randy Couture was ever made. No such luck — which is a shame, because Four Kings is a great strain for zoning out with a B-grade action movie before bed. It’s also great at helping me get over shitting ma britches as a nine-year-old after seeing well-acted depictions of graphic and intense violence, according to the Motion Picture Association of America.

unnamed (3)Herbert Fuego

Although it doesn’t officially begin until December 21, winter might as well be here. Holiday lights are glowing, and the snow’s been falling. If you want to drink pumpkin shit for another month, that’s on you. The rest of us will stay cozy making cookies and tamales, or shredding the mountains and hockey rinks like Norse gods.

That’s the beauty of Colorado: Unlike in the Midwest, winter here doesn’t turn us into mole people for four months. We have no shortage of outdoor activities to keep us busy, and the same goes for weed diversity. To make sure you’re not left in the cold this winter, check out these ten strains that’ll keep you warm indoors or perhaps inspire you to take on the elements.

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