The neighborhood cop shop in Roubaix, France, has apparently been busy busting enough local weed dealers to cause quite a stink. They estimate that they have seized at least 40 kilograms of cannabis and ‘resin’, and their successes on the streets and the resulting stockpile of pot has them feeling pretty high…literally.
In an interview with local news outlet 20 Minutes (so many jokes…), one officer who either didn’t want to be identified, or couldn’t remember his name, was quoted saying, “Already on the ground floor it smells a bit. But on the first floor, the odor is really strong. When you go there, you clearly smell the weed. And after a day, you are stoned.”
| Wikimedia Commons |
| Mairie de Roubaix, the city hall of Roubaix, France |
To be clear, they don’t have to eat it, it’s not being burnt in their presence, they just feel that the mere accumulation of it, again, somewhere around 88 pounds of pot, is getting them baked by proximity.
They claim that the entire first floor, if not more, is contaminated by the pervasive aroma, and alleged effects, of the captured ganja.
Local police union spokesman, Fabrice Danel expressed his concern for his cannabis influenced colleagues, telling the local paper La Voix du Nord, “It is the police service quarter and safety inspection unit that are most impacted by these nuisances. They complain of nausea, headaches.”
At the root of the issue is, as usual, a fight over funding. The company contracted to come remove the seized sativas and indentured indicas is apparently on strike, saying they are understaffed and are now fighting for the power to hire more people.
Résumé sent.
Joking aside, officials in the modest city in the north of France see the stinky station as no laughing matter, and one local judge fears the worst, saying, “Imagine that an officer, on duty or simply going home, causes an accident. A field test would show him positive for drugs and he would be arrested. I imagine a blood test would come back negative, but the officer would end up being labeled corrupt.”
The police union rep, Monsieur Danel, brings those fears to a Northern French version of reality, “Some, worried or for fun, tested themselves.” He says that, indeed, some officers are testing positive for pot. No word on whether they are just the few cool ones in the precinct. “It’s a scandal!” exclaims Danel.
Cops taking more weed off the streets than they can safely house. Companies being formed for the purpose of taking confiscated weed from cops cannot keep up with demand and cannot hire quickly enough. Cops keep taking weed off the streets. The end result is people are still going to get high, and not just the cops in Roubaix.
Recent reports in the area tell of local gardeners waking up to pillaged flower beds and trampled yards. With weed under such an intense spotlight by the cops, a new way to get high has been discovered, and has led to such ridiculousness as groups like the “Hortensia Gang” storming gardens in the wee hours of the morning.
Their target? Hydrangea flowers, which they claim delivers a buzz off of the dried, rolled, then smoked petals of the vibrant purple plant. Shit got real when local Roubaix city council members’ gardens got pilfered, leading one jaded government official to posit, “With the crisis we have, the impression (is) people are now turning towards natural products, because synthetic ones are more expensive.”
| Wikimedia Commons |
| Hydrangea flowers – Don’t smoke this. |
No, man, it’s because you keep taking their weed.
And no, it doesn’t simulate cannabis. Even those who have experienced the best of whatever Hydrangea smoking offers do not advise others to try it, and some say that smoking it can lead to digestive, respiratory, and heart problems.
In a country where smoking a joint can land you in jail for a year with a hefty fine, and whose medical marijuana program begins and ends with prescriptions of Sativex for qualified Multiple Sclerosis patients, it’s no wonder the citizens are seeking a head change.
With 24% of French teens admitting to smoking pot within the past month, “The Hortensia Gang” has a ripe crop of young garden tramplers to recruit from.
Free the weed, and the Hydrangeas live. It’s your call France.