Spanish Harlem is apparently still such a rough neighborhood that even the stoners have a violent side when being harassed by nosey cops.
Just ask the 26-year-old rookie with the New York Police Department who had her teeth knocked out over the weekend after a street side shakedown over a little pot smoke turned into a full-blown Harlem scuffle.
According to reports, the officer, whose name has not been released, was patrolling East Harlem in the vicinity of Park Avenue and East 104th Street when she and another female officer spotted three men and a woman standing outside of the Clinton Housing Project getting stoned. Witnesses say this is when officers swooped in and proceeded to reign down a little heat on the late night stoner circle. “I saw two female cops walking by, just doing the rounds,” a witness told The New York Daily News. “They doubled back behind the building like they had seen something.”
When the officer confronted the Harlem cannabis club, and potentially did something stupid, like utter the phrase “you’re under arrest,” one of the men took offense to the intrusion of his safety meeting and blasted the officer in the mouth with a violent haymaker, which left her flat on her backside and somewhat toothless.
Of course, none of the culprits waited around to see what the penalty was for giving one of New York’s finest a hillbilly makeover, so they did what anyone in their situation would have done… they hauled ass out of there. “Two men came running out from behind the building, they were wearing black, that’s all I could see. Within minutes there were cops everywhere,” said the witness. “The one cop was holding a tissue to her mouth as two other cops walked her to a van.”
The officer, or should we say, the glass jaw recipient of the fierce knuckle sandwich, was transported to New York Presbyterian Hospital, where she underwent emergency dental surgery in hopes of keeping her grill from resembling that banjo playing bastard in the movie ‘Deliverance’.
Although emergency responders managed to collect fragments of the officer’s teeth, which were scattered at the scene of the crime, reports indicate she will be forced to undergo some extensive dental work before ever having a chance at landing a job as a toothpaste model.
Despite not having any leads or surveillance footage of the savage beat down, police were still able track down the Harlem cop crusher by sometime Monday afternoon. A spokesperson for the NYPD said it was an anonymous rat that led them to the doorstep of 26-year-old John Pica, who has since been charged with felony assault on a police officer, and will probably do some time in prison.
Word to the wise — it is always better to face prosecution for minor pot possession than it is for assaulting an officer of the law. While this cop may now resemble the progeny of a Cahulawassee River inbred, Pica will soon be the one squealing like a pig.
Mike Adams writes for stoners and smut enthusiasts in High Times, Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket and Hustler Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter @adamssoup and on Facebook/mikeadams73.