It’s a big step towards national legalization.
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She doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about full legalization though.
A document preparing Hillary Clinton for her primary debates and released by WIkiLeaks suggests that as President she would continue President Obama’s hands-off policy towards state-legal marijuana industries, as long as they follow broad federal guidelines. Her talking points also suggest some openness to industry banking. (See page 97 of the document for more details.)
While the War on Drugs has become the largest political sideshow the United States has even produced, there is simply no denying the heaping helping of humor that has manifested from the nation’s lust for the dust and Uncle Sam’s madcap approach to keeping their nose clean, so to speak. Yet, that has not stopped thousands of people every year from pushing bags of brown, white and green dope into nearly every orifice of their bodies, in hopes of bamboozling drug-sniffing authorities all over the country.
Unfortunately, while squeezing a fat sack of crack between your butt cheeks can sometimes be an effective method for avoiding a shakedown, the moment some large meathead cop whispers something in your ear like, “What’s your sign, sailor,” there is a damn good chance you are about to fisted in the back room by a group of sexually confused law enforcement cronies.
Basements don’t really exist in Florida what with a large chunk of the state sitting at or below sea level, which makes the discovery of four underground grow houses in Miami in recent weeks somewhat newsworthy.
On Monday, police raided what is now the fourth “underground” grow house this year, including two based out of swimming pools.
This November, throngs of Floridians will strap on their sandals and flop their way to the polls to cast ballots that may well be the end of Florida as we know it. That’s right, folks. It’s over. Kiss it all goodbye.
Because on November’s ballot is an amendment so evil and insidious that mere contact with the ink will be enough to turn toddlers into meth-crazed cannibals. I don’t even want to say it.
Fine, I’ll say it: Medical Marijuana.
To read the hilarious full parody, click on over to our friends at the Broward/Palm Beach New Times