Browsing: Growing

Without getting into specifics, let’s just say a certain R&B singer’s gross sexual history has caused me to look for a new go-to karaoke song. Although a few Queen classics initially seemed like fun choices, I quickly realized that I was foolish to think I could win a room trying to impersonate Freddie Mercury. It seemed like my once-every-six-months career was over.

Then I discovered Randy Newman.

If we’re being factual, I’ve actually known about Randy Newman ever since Toy Story, but he really left-foot-right-footed himself into my heart after a Family Guy episode featured his goofy-ass voice. The deep, dopey aspect of it seemed to fit me, for some reason, and I’ve been a star in dive bars ever since. (Not really, but it’s fun to sing “Short People” when you’re drunk.) So when I came across a funky-smelling strain named after Randy Newman, it seemed like a message from the stoner-culture gods. That it smelled like a spread of fruit and expensive cheese didn’t hurt, either.

A rare strain at the moment, Randy Newman can be fou

veritas_farm_collins20190807_005Jacqueline Collins

Colorado is on the short list of states whose farmers will soon be eligible for federal crop insurance.

Hemp had been barred from eligibility for protection through the Federal Crop Insurance Corporation because of its similarities to marijuana. With the passage of 2018’s Farm Bill, however, hemp officially became a legal crop for farmers — if their respective states chose to legalize hemp farming

unnamed (2)Herbert Fuego

That Area 51 raid sure came out like a wet fart after all that. The event page’s creator now wants to throw a festival in a town near the restricted military base instead, surprising and exciting no one. So instead of stealing a dope-ass laser gun from the Man, I’ll just have to get high and watch Mars Attacks! or something. To up my desperate ante for Nevada alien action, I might even smoke a Tahoe Alien or two.

This mix of Alien Kush and Tahoe OG Kush has become a fixture for dispensaries and growers at home thanks to a reputation for high yields, which are rare for OG strains. But Tahoe Alien is more than just a garden star, carrying pungent pine and wood aromas as well as a high THC percentage. In some cases, Tahoe Alien can even attain decent CBD levels, making some commercial growers wonder if the strain was sent from above.

veritas_farm_collins20190807_038 (1)Jacqueline Collins

The prospect for more federal marijuana research improved significantly today, August 26, when the Drug Enforcement Administration announced it would begin to “facilitate and expand scientific and medical research for marijuana in the United States.”

With only one marijuana cultivation designated for federally approved research purposes over the past fifty years — located at the University of Mississippi — proponents both for and against cannabis legalization have complained about the DEA’s lack of progress on significant research. Applications to grow marijuana for federal studies had been stalled for several years under Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and the agency was even sued by a researcher it had permitted to conduct cannabis research over the lack of quality marijuana to use for her studies.

incredibles_collins20180814_035Jacqueline Collins

Commercial marijuana products in Colorado will soon be subject to further testing for dangerous fungus, according to the state Marijuana Enforcement Division. In a bulletin recently sent to the state’s marijuana industry, the MED announced that mycotoxins will be added to the microbial testing requirements for concentrates by September 15.

A toxic metabolite produced by fungi, mycotoxins colonize crops and can be found in various forms of mold. Symptoms that appear after consuming mycotoxins include coughing, wheezing, nose stuffiness and irritated eyes and skin — but mycotoxins can also cause severe respiratory damage, and are capable of giving animals and humans chronic, deadly diseases if consumed at high levels for long periods of time.

strain_8-15Herbert Fuego

Baked goods are all the rage among breeders trying to come up with new names for their fruity, doughy strains, but there are only so many cookies, cakes and pies that society recognizes. Now cereals are the new frontier for sugar-obsessed tokers trying to reconnect with their childhoods. And for the most part, these strains are pretty darn tasty — besides Lucky Charms, which was an overrated cereal anyway.

Crunch Berry, Frankenberry, Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles OG have all been sweet on the nose, but Koko Puffs could’ve gone either way during our first meeting at a dispensary. I wasn’t sure if the “Puffs” part was the inspiration or if we had another Chocolope or Chocolate Mint OG — two delicious strains — on our hands. Either way, the thick layer of resin clinging to the inside of the display jar sold me.

strain_macHerbert Fuego

Am I the only one calling bullshit on all these 30 percent THC strains? I’ll smoke something from a dispensary claiming just that and feel like a sober turd, then puff something stinky marked at 15 percent THC and get burnt to a crisp. Stop juicing your testing results, ya bums. You know who you are.

Some strains can back up that shit talk, though, and make you regret being so cocky. Some strains will make you feel like a lost virgin again, leaving you gasping for air and a few more seconds of focus. Of course a strain named MAC would be one of those strains: You’ll be lured in and spit out like a spent piece of meat. And you’ll keep wanting to come back. No one can resist such powerful mackin’.

strain_gang_8-1Herbert Fuego

Meringue, you fluffy bastard. Always around to dupe me. I love creamy desserts, sweet flavors and adding egg whites to just about anything. So why can’t I get down with you? (TMI answer: Being reminded of my limitations is depressing, but that’s better left for the leather couch.) Even when I had a younger stomach and tastebuds, meringue was too much. Too light and sugary on top of my pie, too hard and acidic in cookie form. Call me myopic, but I’m more of a cheesecake guy.

Still, I won’t stick my nose up at a cannabis strain named Meringue. After all, I love creamy desserts, sweet flavors, adding egg whites to just about anything…and weed.

cashmereHerbert Fuego

Being a cannabis writer doesn’t require a fine wardrobe. I wear lots of baseball tees, jeans and hoodies, and most people I encounter still think I’m overdressing for my job. That means my shlubby shoulders will probably never feel the touch of cashmere, but they’d get a lot more attention if they did.

The Kashmir region of India is known for producing some legendary indicas as well as the yarn made from goat wool. Given cashmere’s reputation for smoothness and comfort, any indica named for it had better comfort the body and mind. More important, the grower had better make sure that smoking it is smoother on the lungs than Marvin Gaye. Nobody wants to cough aggressively on Cashmere. Fortunately, everything will go smoothly if you buy it from the right place.

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