Browsing: Growing

Everybody has their own tells when they’re high. For most people, it’s the red eyes, giggles or slow reaction time, but my giveaway has always been weed breath. Brushing teeth, drinking soda, chewing gum — none of them work as fast as they should, and that’s tripped me up plenty of times during conversations and other face-to-face encounters.

So a strain like Mendo Breath, known for heavy relaxation and cottonmouth, wasn’t going to put me in any sticky situation that I don’t already routinely find myself in. In fact, trial runs with Mendo Breath’s daughters, Cactus Breath and Garlic Breath, made me exhale no more fire than usual, so I felt more than ready to take on the parent.

Most of my Denver friends are too good for a hot dog unless it’s made of something like African wild boar or organically grown plants. I’m not afraid to stick my nose up at a tube of mystery meat, though, and will gladly shave off a few minutes of my life span for a convenient $1 dog downtown. But even I have limits, and will never touch hot dogs served at gas stations or the Fox Creek Junior High cafeteria.

Hebrew National is a solid wiener brand in my book, but it apparently carries some controversy of its own, coming under scrutiny a few years ago for how kosher its meat really is. But that didn’t discourage DNA Genetics from naming a strain after the holy franks, with breeders creating Hebrew National by crossing Kosher Kush and JJ’s Star Dawg (also known as Star Dawg Guava). As the strain gains a reputation for strong nighttime effects and thick OG flavors, though, dispensaries have taken to calling it something simpler: Kosher Dawg.

Growing cannabis is a rare legal entitlement enjoyed by Colorado residents, but the time and know-how to cultivate good pot is just as scarce for most of us. For potential home growers constantly on the go with travel and work, an Israeli hydroponic company says it has a machine that handles all the hard work for you.

Seedo Lab’s automatic growing device could enable anyone with a smartphone to grow cannabis — or vegetables, flowers, leafy greens and plenty of other vegetation — after connecting the hermetically sealed grow box with a smartphone app.

Most words used to describe cannabis smells are terms that only a pothead would love. Generally, people don’t want to hear “skunky,” “diesel” and “dank” associated with their food, drinks or even tobacco. But hand over a nug that smells like a Gerber baby dump wrapped in burnt rubber, and stoners freak out.

Finding beauty in musty flavors isn’t new for cannabis lovers, so it wasn’t a huge surprise to see Garlic strains catapult in popularity. Unlike gasoline and a skunk’s butt juice, garlic actually has a place in my kitchen. And not only do Garlic Bud, Garlic Cookies and GMO Cookies carry a rare, zesty funk, but their potency is damn near lethal — especially once the Cookies genetics got involved. Garlic Breath, a take on the Garlic craze from Thug Pug Genetics, carries all of those qualities and ramps them up like a spicy BAM! from Emeril Lagasse circa 1998.

Without getting into specifics, let’s just say a certain R&B singer’s gross sexual history has caused me to look for a new go-to karaoke song. Although a few Queen classics initially seemed like fun choices, I quickly realized that I was foolish to think I could win a room trying to impersonate Freddie Mercury. It seemed like my once-every-six-months career was over.

Then I discovered Randy Newman.

If we’re being factual, I’ve actually known about Randy Newman ever since Toy Story, but he really left-foot-right-footed himself into my heart after a Family Guy episode featured his goofy-ass voice. The deep, dopey aspect of it seemed to fit me, for some reason, and I’ve been a star in dive bars ever since. (Not really, but it’s fun to sing “Short People” when you’re drunk.) So when I came across a funky-smelling strain named after Randy Newman, it seemed like a message from the stoner-culture gods. That it smelled like a spread of fruit and expensive cheese didn’t hurt, either.

A rare strain at the moment, Randy Newman can be fou

Colorado is on the short list of states whose farmers will soon be eligible for federal crop insurance.

Hemp had been barred from eligibility for protection through the Federal Crop Insurance Corporation because of its similarities to marijuana. With the passage of 2018’s Farm Bill, however, hemp officially became a legal crop for farmers — if their respective states chose to legalize hemp farming

That Area 51 raid sure came out like a wet fart after all that. The event page’s creator now wants to throw a festival in a town near the restricted military base instead, surprising and exciting no one. So instead of stealing a dope-ass laser gun from the Man, I’ll just have to get high and watch Mars Attacks! or something. To up my desperate ante for Nevada alien action, I might even smoke a Tahoe Alien or two.

This mix of Alien Kush and Tahoe OG Kush has become a fixture for dispensaries and growers at home thanks to a reputation for high yields, which are rare for OG strains. But Tahoe Alien is more than just a garden star, carrying pungent pine and wood aromas as well as a high THC percentage. In some cases, Tahoe Alien can even attain decent CBD levels, making some commercial growers wonder if the strain was sent from above.

The prospect for more federal marijuana research improved significantly today, August 26, when the Drug Enforcement Administration announced it would begin to “facilitate and expand scientific and medical research for marijuana in the United States.”

With only one marijuana cultivation designated for federally approved research purposes over the past fifty years — located at the University of Mississippi — proponents both for and against cannabis legalization have complained about the DEA’s lack of progress on significant research. Applications to grow marijuana for federal studies had been stalled for several years under Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and the agency was even sued by a researcher it had permitted to conduct cannabis research over the lack of quality marijuana to use for her studies.

Commercial marijuana products in Colorado will soon be subject to further testing for dangerous fungus, according to the state Marijuana Enforcement Division. In a bulletin recently sent to the state’s marijuana industry, the MED announced that mycotoxins will be added to the microbial testing requirements for concentrates by September 15.

A toxic metabolite produced by fungi, mycotoxins colonize crops and can be found in various forms of mold. Symptoms that appear after consuming mycotoxins include coughing, wheezing, nose stuffiness and irritated eyes and skin — but mycotoxins can also cause severe respiratory damage, and are capable of giving animals and humans chronic, deadly diseases if consumed at high levels for long periods of time.

Baked goods are all the rage among breeders trying to come up with new names for their fruity, doughy strains, but there are only so many cookies, cakes and pies that society recognizes. Now cereals are the new frontier for sugar-obsessed tokers trying to reconnect with their childhoods. And for the most part, these strains are pretty darn tasty — besides Lucky Charms, which was an overrated cereal anyway.

Crunch Berry, Frankenberry, Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles OG have all been sweet on the nose, but Koko Puffs could’ve gone either way during our first meeting at a dispensary. I wasn’t sure if the “Puffs” part was the inspiration or if we had another Chocolope or Chocolate Mint OG — two delicious strains — on our hands. Either way, the thick layer of resin clinging to the inside of the display jar sold me.

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