The realization hit me like a depressing hailstorm: I’m old. It wasn’t the receding hairline, or the weird looks that college Chads and Beckys gave me after I accidentally bought (and used) student tickets to a Colorado State University basketball game. It’s the pain. Oh, baby, do I hurt. Both elbows, a shoulder and a wrist from getting hit by various things with wheels or legs over the past few months. Sleeping on my neck wrong or walking a couple of miles in Vans can make the next day a pain in the ass.

This new, never-ending fight with a slower healing process rekindled my interest in high-CBD strains, which I’ve generally avoided after discovering some trustworthy CBD oils in an effort to curb my smoking. And let’s face it: CBD strains generally smell and taste like booty. Finding one that doesn’t smell like an old sock can be a challenge. However, there are some tastier exceptions, like Terrapin Care Station’s Wife Lemonade, or Desert Ruby, a Colorado creation that has been flying under my nose for at least three years.

Growing up in the rural desert gave me lots of opportunities to shoot things. Nothing living, of course, other than my friends. Before discovering fireworks, we lit each other up with paintballs and air-soft BBs without mercy. The welts and burns were temporary, but the memories should last a lifetime.

The baddest mother bleeper in the paintball squad was always the one who scouted the enemy’s defense — or did recon, as a bunch of tweens playing war liked to call it. That job usually involved getting pelted by the other team, and groin shots were always on the table. As a tall kid with a long groin, I thought the concept of recon could fuck right off. Now, as a pothead with road rage and little tolerance for dumb questions, I don’t think Recon’s so bad.