Author Toke of the Town

Attaching the word “grape” to a strain is a bold move. Not only does it typecast the strain’s effects as heavy and tiring, but it also creates stiff expectations for smell, looks and flavor. If the strain doesn’t smell like grapes, taste like Fanta and have deep streaks of purple, then it’s basically Crystal Pepsi to most consumers. (Grape Stomper is the only “white” grape strain with moderate popularity.)

Given its lineage of BC God Bud and Grapefruit, it would be easy to assume that Grape God Bud’s name was just a lazy combination of its parents’ — but that seems foolish after you look at its mauve buds and taste its sickly sweet flavors. BC God Bud is known for its deep-purple hue and stout buds, and it’s easy to see those genetics in Grape God. Grapefruit takes over in the smell and flavor departments, imparting its trademark citrus and saccharine notes to God Bud’s earthy, hashy characteristics to create a sweet grape flavor.

Dear Stoner: I always feel so bad for dogs when people blow smoke in their faces. I can tell they don’t like it. Are they getting high, or is it just irritating them?
Money Monet

Dear Monet: Both — but if I had to pick one, I’d say the dog is mainly irritated. Although some low-dose, CBD-only products have helped older dogs with joint problems, THC ingestion is largely problematic for canines. Most research done about dogs ingesting marijuana has focused on them accidentally eating it — but blowing secondhand smoke in the face of man’s best friend is a definite dick move.

Dear Stoner: What is the number of plants one can cultivate with a medical marijuana card? I’ve heard you can have up to 75 if you’re a caregiver, but I’ve also heard Colorado will be setting a state maximum of twelve.
Pete

Dear Pete: Current medical marijuana caregivers can actually have up to 99 plants for a maximum of five patients, thanks to a bill passed in 2015 — but the clamps have been tightening ever since. Caregivers with extended plant counts of more than 36 plants in their homes must now register with the state, and Governor John Hickenlooper has been vocal about further cutting those counts in 2017 because of concerns about the black market.

The rumblings you’ve been hearing about a twelve-plant maximum are true: The state has been pushing to limit a patient’s plant count to twelve in private homes this year, as well as to adopt a more detailed patient registration system and ban recreational co-ops. If you don’t think twelve is enough, try to get an extended plant count while you still can; they’re not dead yet.

Superheroes are all the rage these days. But before Hollywood started cashing in on characters that most of us never knew existed, the weed world was already starting the party, with strains like Kryptonite, Harlequin and Thor’s Hammer. Yet the most popular superhero strain is actually named after a skinny alter ego: Bruce Banner.

Like the Incredible Hulk he morphs into when angry, Bruce Banner’s namesake strain comes in multiple forms and can obliterate a man’s face with one punch. There are three different phenotypes of the sativa, with Bruce Banner #3 being the most popular. All three were bred with OG Kush and Strawberry Diesel, but #3 was the charm, with a pudgy bud structure and a high THC percentage. It has tested above 28 percent THC but carries an easy high suitable for most situations — if you don’t hit the joint one too many times.

Dear Stoner: Is there such a thing as organic marijuana? I recently bought a pre-roll, and on the label were things like ammonium nitrate, isopropyl alcohol, nitric acid and indole-3- butyric acid, just to name a few.
Mike B.

Dear Mike: Those sound like growing nutrients (although the isopropyl alcohol might’ve been for hash, if you bought a caviar joint), which are standard for the cannabis industry. You’re not alone in wanting a product without a bunch of crap you’ve never heard of in it, but certification for organic cannabis is one of many logjams waiting on federal legalization. The U.S. Department of Agriculture regulates organic standards, so even though dispensaries may claim to have organic products, there’s no regulatory body to officially designate them in “green” states.